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Stability

Published: Apr 18 2018

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Present?

It has been less and less frequently that I have been posting. The main reason I can see is that things are pretty stable now. The changes from HRT are slow and my levels are stable. I will keep changing incrementally, and the new experiences are less frequent. I get gendered correctly maybe 75% of the time, and it appears to vary based on my clothing since nothing else changes often.

The most recent change was that I started on progesterone. I wanted to wait and make sure my other levels were stable from my last blood draw (and they mostly were). My doctor was pretty hesitant to have me on another medication. This makes 3 pills daily, but we agreed that starting/stopping medications at the same time was less ideal and to get on all 3 and see where things are in a month. The risks are still low enough to me. Progesterone also isn't as well documented as the rest of the hormones (for transgender uses). I was pretty worried because of the side effects that others have reported (eg going from stable to suicidal). I am on the bio-identical version though and have read that causes less issues. One of the main reasons I wanted progesterone was because (anecdotally) it causes breast growth but it also acts as a mood stabilizer for some people. Others reported better sleep/rest. One of the reasons I wanted to make sure my levels were fine was that I seemed to be extremely emotional in the days leading to injection.

For me, I haven't really noticed breast growth but it has only been a few weeks. As far as sleep, I have had super vivid and long dreams every night. I have noticed that I am having a harder time getting up in the morning. I just feel like I didn't get much sleep despite having the same sleep schedule. Emotionally I seem to be more stable instead of having the swings in the days before injections. I have been keeping a small journal of my mood or anything that sticks out because of the worry about the bad side effects I have heard about.

I also started voice training with a voice coach. Nothing much to note there so far. I am learning to control my pitch better and with luck some tips on how to change resonance. 

Future?

Since I am running into few transgender issues to write about I am thinking about delving into other topics. I am especially interested in ones that cause me cognitive dissonance, meaning I see inconsistency with my view on two separate but similar topics. The great thing about picking topics like that is that I could do research to find the root of the issue for me but it's also very daunting. The articles probably wouldn't be very small and having to organize my thoughts for such a long article is difficult for me. Since it is difficult that is where I know I could use some improvement. A lot of the time I find that I procrastinate when I know how difficult something will be, but not when I don't realize the depth of the topic/issue.

 

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